Judi Bartle's daughter Emily suffers from Transient Migraine with Atypical Aura – which means she lives with daily headaches that are sometimes mild and often excruciatingly painful. To help treat her illness, Emily visits a headache clinic frequently and is on constant medication.

Emily has missed a great deal of school and because this is such a rare condition, the school wasn't sure how to deal with it – which left mom Judi feeling frustrated and unsure of how to help her daughter. She had to make changes with the school but wasn't sure how to make it happen.

Your child may not suffer from the same condition as Emily, but chances are, as a parent, you've found yourself in a situation where you knew something needed to change. Maybe your kids need motivation with schoolwork or you are dealing with siblings that argue or those difficult teenage years. Perhaps you're a new parent that needs to feel more confident in raising your baby or an adoptive or new stepparent trying to find your place. All share the same goal of wanting to raise children in the best way possible with the right solutions available.

More parents, like Judi Bartle, are reaching out to parent coaches to help them build a plan that will work for their families. "My coach helped me figure out what my priorities and goals were that ultimately helped me make good decisions about my daughter's future and find ways to navigate a public school system to get results in a way that a therapist and attorney were unable to help me," says Bartle.

What Is a Parent Coach?
Dr. Teresa Parr of Parent Coaching Consultants explains coaching as, "a proactive approach helping people bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be." Parent coaching is not used as a last resort to fix problems, but rather sought out by high achievers who want to excel.

"Some parents come to coaching as a proactive measure, to re-define their parenting values to re-discover the joy of parenting or to build up their reserves so they don't have to get to the point of feeling overwhelmed with the many demands of parenting," says Mary Scribner, a certified parent coach with Sound Parent Coaching.

Thomas Klee, a psychologist and parent coach, has worked with parents on everything from toilet training a 2-year-old to substance abuse in adolescence to the problems associated with young adults living at home with their parents.

"People who recognize the importance of parenting use a parent coach to deal with specific discipline, behavioral or academic problems as they occur," says Klee.

Signs You May Need a Parent Coach
"Another reason parents seek help is because they feel things are out of control," says Dennis Bronstein of Parent Coach. "Parent coaches can provide assistance with settling into a routine and making things more manageable. My main goal is to help parents become the parents they want to be."

When Bartle needed help with her daughter Emily's school, she says she needed someone to stand beside her and help her figure out what was best for her daughter's future. "Sometimes as parents we need someone to help clarify issues and priorities," she says. "Pediatricians are often too busy to spend time on family issues – and issues aren't always big enough to involve a therapist."

"Coaching beings where books on parenting leave off," says Klee. "Parenting books have a lot of great ideas, but it takes a parent coach to tailor those ideas to specific situations and support the parents in carrying out various stages. One of the main problems parents face is being consistent with their kids."

Bartle says that other parent authorities had opinions that seemed good in theory but when it came time to implement them in the home, they didn't work. Her experience using a parent coach gave her options when what she tried wasn't successful.

Scribner says to ask yourself these questions when considering coaching:

• Do you feel satisfied with yourself as a parent at the end of the day?
• Do you continuously second-guess your parenting decisions?
• Do you want to discover ways to sustain the joy in parenting?

Answering yes to one or more of these does not mean that you're in a crisis, but working with a coach may provide you with ways to achieve your goals and be the parent you want to be.

Sometimes it's obvious when a parent coach is needed. "Common situations like parents’ inability to maintain control during discipline, school issues, mother/daughter conflicts, constant struggles that wear parents down to the point of feeling hopeless – this is usually when they start looking for outside intervention," says Scribner.

Scoring Goals With Parent Coaching
Just as Bartle sought a solution with her daughter's school, parents determine the goals of parent parenting. "I develop a plan or strategy to meet their goals," says Klee. "After that, it's my job to modify the strategies as necessary and support the parents in implementing the plan consistently."

The goals of parent coaching are as varied as the individuals who hire coaches. "Sometimes the goals aren't strictly parenting," says Parr. "A parent coach might be hired for business coaching, for example, because there is often a profound relationship between personal/family success and business success. Other goals might be related to fitness, starting a business, balancing career/work, creating family balance, developing a personalized parenting style, being more proactive, transitioning to or from an outside career more smoothly and many more."

Parent coaching is not a situation that needs therapy, clinical assessments or medical intervention. "Coaching may be appropriate in addition to help with other professionals but never as a substitute."

Game Plan of Parent Coaching
Coaching can be handled in person, via e-mail or over the phone; the technique used is usually determined by personal preference. "Some coaches only do phone; some do a mix and some only in person," says Parr.

Scribner works with clients through 45-minute weekly or bi-weekly phone calls scheduled at their convenience. "The beauty of this arrangement is that the parent doesn't have to arrange for childcare or leave their home," says Scribner. Bronstein says he does most of his coaching over the phone but will do in-home sessions with local clients. "It's easier to do it that way," says Bronstein. "If someone is having a hard time, they can call at that time." Klee agrees, saying that the advantage of working over the phone or by e-mail is that you can be responsive to parents as situations arise and be in contact between those sessions.

Charges for coaches vary according to the education, experience and type of coaching; insurance does not cover coaching. Costs can be calculated per session. For example, a one-hour session may run $75. Some coaches are quick to point out that fees may adjust according to client needs. Bronstein says that he offers discount packages. "So something like two one-hour sessions, four check-in calls and a month of unlimited e-mail support would be $175," he says.

Players Involved in Parent Coaching
"Who is involved in the coaching really is up to the person who is being coached," says Scribner. "Typically the coaching conversations are either with one or both parents on the phone or in person. If the parents want other adults to be involved it can be arranged, including grandparents, foster parents, guardians, stepparents, etc."

Coaching can also be provided for a group of families, such as a support group, or for facilitating group discussions on parenting topics.

"Typically the immediate family is the main focus," says Klee. "However, I will involve grandparents, school counselors and teachers when it supports the work I am doing with parents. For example, if a child is doing poorly in school, I will help parents develop better communications with the school so they can learn about their child's progress on a weekly basis instead of waiting till the end of a marking period."

"At some point all coaches may have to be licensed or certified, but that is currently not the case," says Parr. "Certification is an indication of a certain level of commitment and expertise in coaching but does not indicate their level of understanding in child development, parenting research, etc."

Parr says she would personally look for experience and education related to parenting, families and child development when seeking out a coach. "Also, I would want someone that would know when/if there was something more that [was] needed [like] help from a medical or mental health professional," she says.

Certification through places like the Parent Coaching Institute requires a minimum of 72 lessons and at least 1,500 hours of course study, completion of four case studies of at least 50 hours of study and completion of a supervised practicum of at least 100. Entrance into the institute requires a bachelor's degree and experience working in related fields such as education, counseling, community health, child development and parent education.

"We advise parents to look for someone who has completed a comprehensive parent coach training program and has experience working with children and/or parents," says Scribner.

Want to see more?

• Speaking Up: A Voice for Every Child
• Parents As Advocates: Standing Up for Your Child
• When Motherhood Takes on a New Meaning: Parenting a Child With a Disability
• Talk about it!